【真爱父出】父亲的喜怒哀乐

致我的丈夫，我的主编，我的同事们，我的兄弟们，还有我的朋友们，祝你们父亲节快乐。如果没有你们，我们将会身处何方？

　　一、The Easiest Things About Being a Father

　　为父之喜

　　1. In very few households will you be asked at 7 p.m. the night before it is needed to make a costume depicting authentic dress from the Huron tribe for Native American Awareness Day at school.

　　1.学校第二天要举办的土著印第安人日活动，而前一天晚上7点才要给孩子们准备一套能够体现休伦部落传统服饰的演出服。这种事情多数家庭都不会让爸爸来做。

　　2. You can make up wholly fictional explanations and rationales for life, explain them in your best authoritative "Dad" voice, and have them be believed, at least briefly. For example, "Those speed bumps are put in front of tollbooth plazas so that hard-of-seeing drivers will have more time to find exact change," is one I was exposed to at a tender time of life. I believed it. It took me years to figure out why everyone else was laughing.

　　2. 你们可以用最擅长的“父亲”的权威口吻编造关于人生的理论，然后让孩子相信你们，至少是暂时信服。拿我来说吧，当我还年少无知时，我常常听说“收费站前设有减速带是为了让那些眼神不好的司机有多点时间找零钱”。我相信了。很多年之后，我才明白为什么大家听到这个说法会哈哈大笑。

　　3. You will be told in a casual manner about some of the most momentous events in your children's lives only AFTER they have been resolved. "I told Joshua that I would save up money and go hitchhiking with him in Turkey for the summer even though I have to retake geometry because I didn't quite pass it, but Josh was grounded for having his hair dyed, getting his eyebrow pierced and getting a tattoo. I'm REALLY glad I don't have a restrictive dad like his."

　　3.对于孩子们生活中的大事，他们通常会在自己解决完之后再以随意的口吻知会你。“我曾告诉约书亚虽然我没通过几何考试，得重修，但我还是会攒钱，在今年暑假和他一起搭车去土耳其。不过乔希因染发，穿眉环和刺青而被禁足了。我真的很庆幸我的父亲没那么严格。”