必修4 Unit 4
COMMUNICATION: NO PROBLEM?
Yesterday, another student and I, representing our university's student association, went to the Capital International Airport to meet this year's international students. They were coming to study at Beijing University. We would take them first to their dormitories and then to the student canteen. After half an hour of waiting for their flight to arrive, I saw several young people enter the waiting area looking around curiously. I stood for a minute watching them and then went to greet them.
The first person to arrive was Tony Garcia from Colombia, closely followed by Julia Smith from Britain. After I met them and then introduced them to each other, I was very surprised. Tony approached Julia, touched her shoulder and kissed her on the cheek! She stepped back appearing surprised and put up her hands, as if in defence. I guessed that there was probably a major misunderstanding. Then Akira Nagata from Japan came in smiling, together with George Cook from Canada. As they were introduced, George reached his hand out to the Japanese student. Just at that moment, however, Akira bowed so his nose touched George's moving hand. They both apologized - another cultural mistake!
Ahmed Aziz, another international student, was from Jordan. When we met yesterday, he moved very close to me as I introduced myself. I moved back a bit, but he came closer to ask a question and then shook my hand. When Darlene Coulon from France came dashing through the door, she recognized Tony Garcia's smiling face. They shook hands and then kissed each other twice on each cheek, since that is the French custom when adults meet people they know. Ahmed Aziz., on the contrary, simply nodded at the girls. Men from Middle Eastern and other Muslim countries will often stand quite close to other men to talk but will usually not touch women.
As I get to know more international friends, I learn more about this cultural "body language". Not all cultures greet each other the same way, nor are they comfortable in the same way with touching or distance between people. In the same way that people communicate with spoken language, they also express their feelings using unspoken "language" through physical distance, actions or posture. English people, for example, do not usually stand very close to others or touch strangers as soon as they meet. However, people from places like Spain, Italy or South American countries approach others closely and are more likely to touch them. Most people around the world now greet each other by shaking hands, but some cultures use other greetings as well, such as the Japanese, who prefer to bow.
These actions are not good or bad, but are simply ways in which cultures have developed. I have seen, however, that cultural customs for body language are very general - not all members of a culture behave in the same way. In general, though, studying international customs can certainly help avoid difficulties in today's world of cultural crossroads!
SHOWING OUR FEELINGS
Body language is one of the most powerful means of communication, often even more powerful than spoken language. People around the world show all kinds of feelings, wishes and attitudes that they might never speak aloud. It is possible to "read" others around us, even if they do not intend for us to catch their unspoken communication. Of course, body language can be misread, but many gestures and actions are universal.
The most universal facial expression is, of course, the smile – its function is to show happiness and put people at ease. It does not always mean that we are truly happy, however. Smiles around the world can be false, hiding other feelings like anger, fear or worry. There are unhappy smiles, such as when someone "loses face" and smiles to hide it. However, the general purpose of smiling is to show good feelings.
From the time we are babies, we show unhappiness or anger by frowning. In most places around the world, frowning and turning one's back to someone shows anger. Making a fist and shaking it almost always means that someone is angry and threatening another person.
There are many ways around the world to show agreement, but nodding the head up and down is used for agreement, almost worldwide. Most people also understand that shaking the head from side to side means disagreement or refusal.
How about showing that I am bored? Looking away from people or yawning will, in most cases, make me appear to be uninterested. However, if I turn toward and look at someone or something, people from almost every culture will think that I am interested. If I roll my eyes and turn my head away, I most likely do not believe what I am hearing or do not like it.
Being respectful to people is subjective, based on each culture, but in general it is probably not a good idea to give a hug to a boss or teacher. In almost every culture, it is not usually good to stand too close to someone of a higher rank. Standing at a little distance with open hands will show that I am willing to listen.
With so many cultural differences between people, it is great to have some similarities in body language. We can often be wrong about each other, so it is an amazing thing that we understand each other as well as we do!